No, other people are not purposely trying to hurt you, you’re just projecting onto them your own assumptions of what they’re thinking. Believe it or not, most people are not actively trying to hurt or offend you. People are just trying to live out their lives and make decisions that make the most sense for them. After all, everyone has a different set of circumstances and priorities.
If you find yourself feeling butthurt about not getting invited to an event or someone saying no to you, chances are you’re overthinking it and taking it way too personally. If someone doesn’t invite you to an event, maybe there wasn’t enough space or they simply forgot because event coordinating is such a huge task. If someone says no, maybe it’s just not the right time or they have other commitments.
Either way, 99% of the time for 99% of people out there, decisions regarding their daily lives are not personal. People are not trying to smite you. They just have other priorities and they’re just trying to do what’s best for them.
If you find yourself feeling butthurt frequently, I would kindly recommend you assess how you perceive the actions of others, relative to you. Perhaps you’re processing everything that others do relative to yourself instead of realizing that others don’t know your thoughts or desires. Coming to that realization is key for healthy friendships and other types of relationships because, just like how you have your own wants and needs, others have them too.
Calvin Chu